RAED: The Staircase is a Secret, Man!
by Commander Keenfsr
Summary: RAED has to defeat a few thugs to save the universe from destruction... However, things don't go as planned.


RAED Melki: The Staircase is a Secret, Man.

Chapter One:  
"WUU?" said RAED as he walked into an alleyway to fight some thugs. Just an average day for him. He'd walk into an alley, and use his lightning powers to stun them, then he'd punch the fucl out of them.

Not today, however. Instead, he came across something shocking. He found a hidden staircase.  
"woah shit i found a secret staircase man" said RAED as he slowly traveled up it. "fuck man this is gonna be mind blowin i no it"  
Raed walked up the stairs, not trying to alert anyone or anything. At the top of the stairs, something was waiting up there.

It was a portal through time and multiple dimensions.

RAED was shocked at his discovery and decided it was best to hide it, as the consequences of a less responsible person entering would be disasterous.  
Horrible things could happen. RAED wouldn't be born! His father might be killed in RAED's younger days and he couldn't be a rich bastard! The horror!

RAED sealed away the portal and staircase with his flow powers and prayed to Kyote the Magical Cat that the staircase would remain a secret.

"great kyote in the sky i hope your listenen i found a portal to dimensions and time and now i pray to you to stop trippen people from finding this and fucken up the entire world. one simple request make sure THE STAIR CASE IS A SECRET MAN!"

The staircase was sealed away for 2 decades. No thought of it ever coming into RAED's (rather small) mind since.

2 decades later, however...

Chapter Two:  
RAED was awoken by a voice. A familliar voice. It was Kyote the Cat.  
"RAED THE GREAT, THERE HAS BEEN WOLF ACTIVITY OVER AT THE STAIRCASE."  
"wolf wow it's been many years since ive heard that word i can see the day still when i killed off saddam when he created that fucken shit"  
(Author's Note: Wolf is the opposite of Flow. It's the dark side of the force. Saddam created it to fight again Flow-Gifted entities such as RAED himself. RAED defeated Saddam many centuries ago, but Wolf still exists to this day.)  
"what the fuck were u thinking u were supposed to guard that staircase"  
"WELL, I, UHH..."  
Kyote had forgotten about the staircase until the Wolf activity was detected.  
He was too busy being a lazy faget to bother.  
"i no i must go to the staircase and find the wolfs and kill them for shure" RAED said.  
"DEAR RAED, BEFORE YOU GO, I HAVE TO INFORM YOU THA-" *Poof*  
Kyote's voice cut off mid sentence. RAED knew that there wasn't any good shit going on.  
RAED flew (literally) down to the STAIR CASE and found 2 seemingly ordinary thugs standing near the staircase. RAED knew better (suprisingly) and could sense the WOLF aura around them. RAED dashed up to the one thug and attempted to kick him, but rather RAED's leg was grabbed and soon enough he was thrown agaisnt a wall!

"Heh, fucker. You don't stand a chance. We're Saddam's newest Wolf prototypes. We're also robots." said Thug 1, as his hand turned into a laser blaster.  
"what the fuck and how the fuck" RAED said as he thought about the many things he said. Saddam was still alive? Wolf was being combined with technology?  
RAED dashed the the second thug and DILIVA'd a crippling uppercut. Thug 2, however, being the powerful being he was, wasn't as affected as most people would be.  
Thug 2 jumped at RAED and punched him in the face multiple times, each punch being more painful than the last. RAED, however, counter attacked with a middle finger up the thug's arse. The second Thug felt a strong pain up his spine, as RAED managed to dig his arm up his ass INTO HIS SPINE.  
"u fuckr i win u lose" RAED said as his hand got near the thug's brain.  
"Heh, but can you anticipate THIS?" Thug 2 said as he bitch slapped RAED in the face, thus launching him into another wall. RAED threw a Hadouken at the two thugs but they both got out of the way. Thug 1 fired a laser at RAE2THEMOTHERFUCKEND and he was again blasted into a wall.  
RAED was weakend greatly, and right before he could get back up, the thugs had gotten away. But they didn't just get away...  
They entered the portal.  
"oh shit" said RAED.

Chapter Three:  
RAED entered the portal, and found himself in a near-infinite corridor of portals. One side for time, the other for dimensions.  
RAED heard the footsteps of the thugs and judged where they had entered at when the footstops stepped.  
He stopped at the 10th portal of the time section.  
He entered and foundhimself in July 13, 1000000 B.C.. The date of RAED's birth. He found himself walking on stone steps as JESUS appeared in front of him.  
"Who the fucking hell are you?" Said JESUS.  
"im raed melki, your brother from the future" said RAED.  
"If you are, then prove it MOTHERFUCKER" (Cue this song to fit the mood: watch?v=FulsI_jSKKY)  
RAED threw 50 lightning-infused punches at JESUS until he stared feeling pain. Jesus came back and smacked him in the face with his cane, a pain that caused him to feel a pain that no man should feel. (The same kind that you get from listening to RAED's music.)  
RAED then started scissoring JESUS in the face. JESUS' head exploded and he was dead.  
"oh no i ruined my own past i killd my brother" RAED said as he got down on his knees and honoured his fallen brother.  
"...hey atleast i can get even more allounce moneyz in the future"  
RAED charged onwards to where he was born and found the two WOLF thugs holding babbe RAED, Thug One with a knife in his hand, the other with a chainsaw.  
The Thugs release baby RAED and attempt to fight RAED, however, with the power of two RAEDs combined they merge together and become ULTRAED "BEEP BEEP A TOOT TOOT, YOUR VODOO'S TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE..." ULTRAED shouted at the top of his lungs, frightening the Thugs. "GAME OVER I WIN U LOSE"  
ULTRAED fires the largest fireball in history at the thugs, and sadly destroys the universe in the process.

All that was left, however... was the staircase. 


End file.
